Welcome to Anger Management Guide
Anger Management Counselors Therapist Article
. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for further reading, click here.
Anger and Your Driving: Using Self-Talk to Create Safer Vistas (Part 2)
from: Dr. Tony FioreDate: January 28, 2001
Place: Fashion Island, Newport Beach, California
The incident: Jane, a middle aged professional woman had an altercation with another woman who accosted her after she refused to give up her parking spot.
Jane clearly reached the coveted spot first, but the other woman asked her to move, explaining she was 20 minutes late for a doctor’s appointment. At first, Jane thought it was a joke, but before she knew it, the two women were tussling on the concrete.
Most people feel angry in situations when someone making outrageous requests of us. This is because our brains are ‘hardwired’ to react with anger when we are frustrated or when obstacles prevent us from reaching our goals.
Aggressive driving behavior is due, in part, to a breakdown of an individual’s internal control of their emotions in public places.
Other common driving frustrations and irritations that often cause angry feelings and weakening of control include being:
-Stuck in traffic while late for an appointment
-Delayed by a driver going 10 miles an hour below the speed limit
-Threatened by driver trying to intimidate you
-Getting cut off by a driver
Gaining control of our emotions – and more importantly, our behavior – is often a matter of finding a way to change our perspective or vista of the situation.
Frequently, what we tell ourselves is so automatic that we don’t even realize what it is we are thinking; yet, our thinking patterns are what make us more angry or calm us by changing how we experience that which is frustrating us.
Example 1: Getting cut off. Someone triggers anger by cutting you off in traffic; you automatically tell yourself things like ‘What a jerk; he has no right to do that to me; I’m going to get even; he did that to me on purpose; why does he disrespect me like that? How dare he do that to me, etc.
Self-talk alternatives: Instead, try changing your self-talk to:
-I can stay calm; he might be a dangerous threat to me.
-I’m sure it is not personal; he is cutting me off because he is stressed and in a hurry.
-I’m not going to radiate and stoop to his or her level; there are many reasons for his or her behavior; maybe he just phoned his boss who said he would get fired if not in the office in the next ten minutes or he may be reacting to family responsibilities.
Benefits of your new perspective:
-Increased tolerance and more understanding of possible reasons for the other driver’s bad behavior.
-Resolve not to make his or her problems your problem. (Remember: it doesn’t have to be!)
-Understand that getting even to right the wrong of another driver is not justified or rational.
-Remember that maintaining a hostile attitude on the road is harmful to society – innocent drivers, their families and their loved ones.
Example 2: Slow driver:
You are late to an appointment but stuck behind a gray-haired lady going 15 miles an hour below the speed limit. Your automatic thoughts: ‘Why does this always happen to me? She is doing this to make me late. Why can’t she get out of my way? How inconsiderate she is! She shouldn’t have a driver’s license.’
Self-talk options:
-She is not driving slowly to make me late; she probably isn’t even aware of me.
-Maybe she is old and impaired and doing the best she can.
-Perhaps she just came from the doctor’s office with bad news and is on the verge of tears.
-I can’t control how fast she drives so why get upset?
Angry feelings are a normal response to driving frustrations. Unfortunately, our ‘automatic thoughts’ may increase these feelings and cause us to lose control.
Learning different ‘self-talk’ gives us a powerful tool to control our negative emotions on the road so we can avoid death, serious injury or legal problems.
About the Author
Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.
Anger Management Counselors Therapist News
Pilot Season: HawthoRNe's Noureen DeWulf Joins Charlie Sheen's Anger Management - Seattle Post Intelligencer
Pilot Season: HawthoRNe's Noureen DeWulf Joins Charlie Sheen's Anger Management Seattle Post Intelligencer DeWulf, whose credits also include Outsourced and The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, will play a member of his therapy group. A spoiled rich girl, she's sentenced to court-appointed anger management classes after shooting her cheating boyfriend. |
Selma Blair to Star in Charlie Sheen's New Show - ABC News
 ABC News | Selma Blair to Star in Charlie Sheen's New Show ABC News Deadline.com reports that Blair has been cast in the FX comedy "Anger Management" as the therapist and potential love interest of Sheen's character, a baseball player-turned-anger management counselor named Charlie. Shawnee Smith recently agreed to ... Selma Blair to Star Opposite Charlie Sheen in FX's Anger Management Blair confirmed as Sheen's therapist |
Dr. Puff Now Provides Effective Anger Management Counselling - PR.com (press release)
Dr. Puff Now Provides Effective Anger Management Counselling PR.com (press release) Counted among California's leading therapists and mental health management experts, Dr. Robert Puff has been guiding and counselling organizations, individuals, and families for more than twenty years. Dr. Puff is now offering anger management therapy ... |
VA Division Saves $742000 With Telehealth - InformationWeek
VA Division Saves $742000 With Telehealth InformationWeek Joe's anger-management problems cost him his home and job, too. The VA found him housing more than 40 miles from the Roseburg campus, and Joe no longer drives, so he has to rely on family and friends for transportation. Chronic fatigue and pain also ... |
TMZ Live Halle & Gabriel ... - TMZ.com
TMZ Live Halle & Gabriel ... TMZ.com All hell is breaking loose in Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry's battle over Nahla -- he's taking anger management classes and 3-year old Nahla needs therapy? But maybe the only people who need therapy are Halle and Gabriel. We're thinking the judge ... |
Selma Blair to Co-Star in Charlie Sheen's New Show - ABC News (blog)
 ABC News (blog) | Selma Blair to Co-Star in Charlie Sheen's New Show ABC News (blog) Deadline.com reports that Blair has been cast in the FX comedy “Anger Management” as the therapist and potential love interest of Sheen's character, a baseball player-turned-anger management counselor named Charlie. Shawnee Smith recently agreed to ... |
He's still got it: Charlie Sheen turns on the charm to a pretty brunette as he ... - Daily Mail
 Variety | He's still got it: Charlie Sheen turns on the charm to a pretty brunette as he ... Daily Mail Sheen will play an anger management counselor who leads two therapy groups - one in a prison and one un-incarcerated. Sheen revealed the possible female leads on the show saying: 'Selma Blair is a strong frontrunner. She's a very special lady and is as ... Sheen sells 'Anger' at NATPE Charlie Sheen Back In the Game Flirting Openly Bevy of Beauties |